the need to say.

Posted: January 13, 2012 by Rachel

There are moments where I miss my hometown so much that my throat closes up and all I can manage are a few wheezes before falling into a fit of tears, wrapped up in my irrational worries that what if it doesn’t get easier? What if time doesn’t heal my open wounds?

I missed watching as the city moved from summer to autumn; from green to red, orange and yellow; from warm and humid to nights spent wearing sweaters and light scarves.

I miss the quiet mornings, the wave from kind neighbours you’ve known for years, and the memories created all over town. I miss the possibility of meeting up for coffee with friends I have had since grade school.

I miss my godson and that smile of his. Every day I think about how much of his life I am missing. I have missed and will miss the birth of three of my friends’ children in 2011-2012. I try not to think of how I will feel after my niece or nephew enters the world this March and I am 2,200 miles away.

Some days are easier than others. Today is not one of them.


  • Anonymous April 23, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    I'm sad to hear this! I hope you are having a better day. I know it isn't easy. -V

  • Anonymous April 23, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    *HUGS* Luckily we have the internet to stay in contact hun. You are a strong woman and not everyone could do what you have done. Stay strong Rachie!


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