I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since my last post about opening up more and being real with myself. Thank you everyone for your comments; they have all given me plenty to think about.
I’ve spent the past couple weeks thinking about my childhood and everything since (if I’m doing this at 28 imagine what I will be like when I hit the big 3-0….), and while I can’t yet quite put into words how I’m feeling about everything I have made some realizations, mostly about changes I would like to make in my life. Are you ready?
- Cooking – My mother is a great cook, something that I now realize I took for granted growing up. These days I think often about her homemade soups that she would throw together with anything leftover in the fridge, or the zucchini bread she would make and the way it made the kitchen smell for hours. I’m not a bad cook, but I’d like to be more like my mother some day in the sense that she could look in the cupboards and whip up a great dinner with whatever we had on hand.
- Sewing – Again, my mother is a whiz at sewing and yes, looking back I wish that I had taken advantage of learning from her while I could because now I think of how many little projects I would love to take on (I still dream of making black and white striped curtains) but can’t because I don’t know how to sew. Of course, there is still plenty of time to learn, and I intend on doing so.
- Photographing Life – I know that I talk about this one a lot and there’s a reason it keeps coming up; I start and then it fades off. I want to be able to look back one day and see not the big moments (birthdays, etc) but what my every day looked like; a new recipe that I tried, the bedroom with it’s new grey accent wall, dinners outside – I want to remember it all.
- Family – I moved away from all of my family friends in January 2011 and I would be lying if I didn’t say that some days are a struggle. I’ve been telling myself that I need to take advantage of the new family that I have here more, and I am determined to do just that. I mean, I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister, and now I have one just a 15 minute drive away. And maybe I miss my dad tremendously (because I’m a total daddy’s girl) but I have another father just across town to visit with. I need to accept that it’s okay to lean on them as if they were the family I was born in to.
These are not dramatic changes, in fact they are changes that I can make little by little, day by day which somehow in my mind makes them more easily attainable.
So here I go.