on having a boy

Posted: May 5, 2014 by Rachel

growing up, whenever i thought about having children, i knew one thing was true: i wanted two boys. and then when i got pregnant, i couldn’t get my mind off of having a girl. i would give her the name i had loved for years on end, i would braid her hair and when she was old enough, paint her little nails. we would shop together, and watch television together, and she would be creative and love to read just like me.

both my husband and i were convinced that we would have a girl, so when the sonogram showed that it was a boy, the first feeling that coursed through my body was that of disappointment. i carried that feeling with me through the remainder of my day, but the next morning i woke up suddenly excited beyond belief. we were having a boy! a little dominic running around! he could go for bike rides with his dad, and work on cars with him. he’ll probably have our curly hair, most likely my brown eyes. maybe he will love working with his hands like his dad and grandpa. he could still be creative and love to read just like me.

still, i was scared to have a son. what did i know about raising a boy?

and then. then. then.

i held him. and all those fears went away (to be replaced with new ones, lets be honest).

and now that baby, my little baby, is thirteen months old. he loves being outside, runs away from you, laughing, when he has something he knows he shouldn’t. he adores water, is addicted to blueberries, and says hi to everyone that crosses his path. every single day, i think about what our future will look like. sports, bike rides, dinosaurs, video games,  action figures and cartoons.

i’m almost certain that there won’t be a little girl in my future (or another son for that matter). for us, one is the perfect number. i’m so excited to be on this ride with my son. i can’t wait to see where life takes him and us, our perfect little family of three.

p.s. i find that people don’t often talk about their preference for having a boy or a girl, but i am curious. did you, or do you secretly hope for one or the other?


  • Kathleen May 5, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    I wanted a boy AND a girl, but I really expected that we would have a boy, and then it was a girl. I wrote about that experience here: http://kapachino.info/2011/03/on-having-a-girl/

    Then I got pregnant again and I loved having a girl so much that I would've been happy with another, but I also wanted a boy to see what it was like, and also for my husband's sake. And now we have a baby boy, and I was afraid because, like you said, what do I know about raising a boy? But he's here and he's perfect and I know I'm going to love it.

  • rachel May 5, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    i loved your post. thanks for sharing!

  • Donya Luana May 5, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    Oh I wanted/want a girl. We're pretty certain we're done, but if I knew for certain #3 would be a girl, I'd try for baby #3 in a heartbeat. I definitely felt the disappointment after both ultrasounds, but I think that's entirely normal. For me it was the loss (almost a death?) of the little girl I'd dreamed about (similar to you) growing up. She wouldn't exist. That said, I love my little boys and they've brought a whole different life I didn't know I'd love. Just because it isn't your dream, doesn't mean it can't be awesome, right?

  • Vanessa May 5, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    I didn't necessarily hope for a girl but I expected one. I come from a family of 3 girls, 1 boy. There are so many women in my extended family as well, I just felt more comfortable with the thought of having a girl. But then when we found out we were having a boy and I saw how happy my husband was I grew ecstatic too. A little boy to kiss and cuddle and make a mama's boy 🙂 I do still want a girl though… hehe

  • andrea May 5, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Actually, I don't want any children at all. Not that I don't like them, it's just the responsibility I don't want to carry. I'm looking forward to be the cool aunt to my sister's and brother's children. 🙂 And then I hope for a girl and a boy. Both are awesome in it's own way.

  • Kellie May 6, 2014 at 12:59 am

    I have 3 girls, when we were pregnant with our last I was convinced this was the time we would have a boy. I have a brother and sister and my husband has 3 brothers, so 4 boys from my MIL. When we had the scan and the result was another girl, I was disappointed and it took me a couple of days to come around, not only that I was also planning our wedding so emotions were high. Then I realised how amazing it would and was going to be and my mind set just changed like a switch. Now I look at my gorgeous Bowzie and am beyond grateful she's a she.

  • Kelsey McEvoy May 6, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    I never saw myself having kids to begin with. And when I got pregnant with my oldest child at 18, I wanted a boy; I was steadfast and adamant in this. But we all know that's out of our control — ha! After she was born I found myself relieved that she was a girl — I had convinced myself that all the maternal instincts that were enveloping me wouldn't have been "the same" if I'd had a boy. A few years later I found myself pregnant again, and I was adamant that I wanted another girl. After all, I already had one, which means I knew how to raise her; I knew what to expect. That baby ended up being a girl, too, and I was ecstatic. Then, when I became pregnant with my third, I was adamant again that I wanted another girl. Why switch things up? Turns out, I ended up with a little boy and MAN OH MAN he is the light of my life. Of course, I love all my kids, but there's something about my son that's different. I'm not sure if it's the whole "mamma's boy" thing, or the fact that he is probably my last child, but I know that I share a very special bond with him that I don't have with my girls, and I am so, so very happy to be the mother of such a bright, cheerful, happy, adventurous little boy.

  • ellie kathryn May 7, 2014 at 1:06 am

    i knew in my bones we were having a boy, even before our ultrasound. That said, sadness washed over me like a wave when the technician confirmed it – in my heart I'd been hoping for a girl. I actually went into the bathroom and cried for a little bit [isn't that terrible!!??] But after about 15 seconds I looked myself in the eye in the mirror, shook it off, and never looked back. And now, I can't even imagine having a girl. My boy has absolutely stolen my heart!

  • Anne Hill May 7, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    you two in your bike helmets, so cute! I thought for sure Eli was a girl, and then nope! But, I was so excited about having a boy! Like the whole time I was wrong and never knew how happy I would be that I was wrong!


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