A few weeks ago now, I had a really rough day; not in the bad-day-at-work kind of way, rather an I-can’t-do-anything-right kind of rough day. It peaked around the time that I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store one night and turned off the ignition, and I knew that things could go in two ways: I could walk in there, fuming for twenty minutes over a bad day, or I could do something to snap myself out of it.
I chose the latter.
I picked up my iPhone and opened the camera app to take a selfie. I took my time, fluffing my hair to give it some more volume, reapplying my lipstick, and positioning my hand just-so so that you could see my blue colored nails that I had painted for the first time in weeks. I snapped the photo.
Because I had enough time, I shared my photo on Instagram along with the following caption:
“In true Kara Haupt fashion, I’m channeling some babe vibes + trying to show myself some love! I don’t know about the rest of you lovelies out there, but I am SO hard on myself. I curse my oily, acne prone skin and crazy eyebrows I can rarely tame. I hate my small breasts and my curly hair that I would so much rather be straight. I worry too much about what others think, compare myself and my life to others far too much, and would change about a million other things about my body. But today, right now, this photo makes me feel beautiful. Maybe sometimes I just need that reminder.”
The idea of “self-love” is all over the internet these days, making it hard to ignore, and I’m thinking that it’s time that I really start to pay more attention to how I’m spending my time, meaning: what I’m watching or reading or viewing that is not contributing in a positive manner. And, my self-talk can certainly use some work as well (that voice inside that says: I’m not good enough, my work isn’t good enough, I’m so boring, etc). I come from a past that was riddled with insults and teasing from peers about my body, and that kind of thing stays with you, and affects you more than you sometimes realize. It’s something that I grapple with every day, and something that I have been (finally) working through in my own way.
Self-love is defined as: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).
To me, it’s knowing that you have to be happy with yourself, and love yourself, before you can love anyone else. I’m finally taking steps on my journey towards true self-love, through some serious studying of my internal self, and through the new #myselfiescrapbook project, and I truly want everyone out there reading this, to take a long, hard look at how you feel about yourself, and to join me in channeling some serious babe vibes.
And taking selfies sure does help.