Currently (May)

Posted: May 25, 2015 by Rachel

Outside: the heat is ramping up. Every night, some time after midnight, I find myself waking up and tossing the covers off of me in an attempt to cool myself down. I send a reminder out into the air to change out the thick bedspread for a thinner, cooler one, but by morning I’ve forgotten.

Inside: some mornings after Dom has already left for work but before DJ is awake, I wander the main floor, a cup of hot coffee in my hands, just looking. I stand in the kitchen and stare at the fridge. I sit on the family room floor and stare at the bookshelves. We need some more color in here, I think.

Hoping: for inspiration. For motivation. For something beyond just ideas floating around in my head or written in my notebook. I need these words to turn in to something beautiful, because I just don’t feel like myself when I’m not writing.

Wanting: something to look forward to. We arrived home late Sunday night from visiting friends in Rancho Palos Verdes, California and already, almost imediately, I wanted to start planning our next getaway.

Eating: better. We aren’t perfect by any means, but I like to think that we’re making better choices: more greens, more protein, less processed foods and sugars. Though we’re two years into this parenting gig, we’re starting to realize more and more that we need to establish DJ’s healthy eating habits now, while he’s young, and that means all of us are eating better. I read somewhere that there is a new farmer’s market nearby open on Saturday mornings. I will definitely be there this weekend.

Listening: as usual, to Ed Sheeran, Jason Mraz, and John Mayer.

Remembering: the way it felt to become a mother: how exhausted and alone I felt. Like my life was no longer my own. What’s that quote? “It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” My son is newly two and so much more little boy than baby. Time is slipping through our fingers like sand.

Writing:  nothing now, nor for the past month. Just waiting, oh so impatiently.

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