I’ll tell you what I want you to know

Posted: February 6, 2018 by Rachel

Over coffee with a girlfriend recently, I admitted that I’m a terribly private person. I didn’t give her the chance to say what most people say—“you sure share an awful lot online for someone who claims to be private”—before I set down my too-strong coffee and leaned closer, saying, “I share what I’m okay with other people knowing.”

That is to say: I’ll tell you what I want you to know. And the rest I want to keep to myself.

I share a lot more with some people than with others, as I think most people do. And there are a select few who get very little of me, mostly because I’ve learned from my mistakes. I consider myself a forgiving person. I’ll forgive you, but I’m also not going to give as much of myself to you in the future should you hurt me.

Lately I find I’m struggling with what to say and what not to say. I used to talk a lot more openly about my life, which is funny if you think about it, because my life has changed so much in the past seven years. Right now, I can think of three things I’d love to write about, but it would mean opening myself up to people I’d rather keep at bay.

So, like I have for too many years now, I stay quiet.

But I find I’m missing it; writing about my life. And I’m determined to find some kind of middle ground, some areas of my life that I’m comfortable sharing. Because as simple and slow as my life is, there is so much good in it that is worth being celebrated.

1 Comment

  • Nicole February 6, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    I totally understand this feeling. Wanting to talk about things but also not wanting to open up or not necessarily being comfortable with who will see it. Maybe try talking about things vaguely, where you’ll get to write about it and it will mean something to you, but it’s still a little hazy to others. I have a few posts like that myself for exactly that reason.

    But always do what you’re comfortable with, of course. xo

    Reply

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