Ten Years of Knowing You

Posted: January 28, 2020 by Rachel

On the first day of 2010 I wrote the following in my diary: It’s a safe bet to say that the large majority of 2009 was spent in misery, and I just can’t do that to myself again. I refuse to waste another year being unhappy. I want to explore more. Be more. But most of all, I want a partner in crime. Someone who will go along on the ride with me.

I had seen two of my closest friends marry in the last two years as I stumbled dazed and confused through some semblance of a dating life. I met some really great guys, went on some lovely dates, but I had yet to meet someone I could truly see myself with. I hadn’t met my person.

In late January of the same year I found myself at an awful ‘party’ just outside my hometown in Ontario, Canada that involved smelly, dirty boys and video games in a dank basement apartment. I kept sneaking off to the restroom, fighting off tears, wondering if this could possibly be the pool from which I had to find a husband. If this were the case, I’d surely be single forever.

Yet just four days later, on January 28th, 2010, an email came through on my Blackberry at 3am. To this day I can still quote it verbatim, but to keep a long story short, the email (from my boss at the time) was an introduction to someone named Dominic living in Las Vegas.

I was hesitant at first, as one might have expected me to be. I had a vastly incomplete image of Las Vegas in my mind, pieced together from what I’d seen and heard in movies. Still, I’d come to know and trust my boss over the three years we’d been working together and felt there had to have been a good reason for him to send that email.

Not wanting to be the first to respond to the introduction, I sat back and waited, went about with my day. 

Dominic wrote me that same morning.

***

It’s been said that one of the foundations of marriage is good communication. There is no doubt in my mind that Dom and I’s early emails and phone calls and cross-country visits are what set us on a strong path right from the beginning. When we married, two months after my move to Las Vegas and only fourteen months after having been introduced, I was fairly confident that I’d found my person. But now, as we celebrate ten years since our introduction and approach our ninth wedding anniversary, I know—whole heartedly—that he is my someone. He is my person. He and the son we share, are everything. I have everything I have ever wanted. 

I am the living proof that life can change in the blink of an eye.

a (short) conversation about marriage

Posted: January 24, 2020

When she asked if I wanted to talk I’m not sure she expected a conversation about marriage. We’d been grappling with some complex feelings brought on by the confession of a mutual acquaintance and I sensed her real reason for reaching out might be that she herself wanted to talk. I wasn’t ready to talk about the confession, so I talked about marriage. “It’s kind of sad,” I said,  “but I’ve been thinking a lot about how, among all the other things my mom is going to miss, she won’t see how happy I am with Dom. How well I…

January 17

Posted: January 17, 2020

Life seems to moving at lightning speed these days. I keep telling myself to be better at writing it all down before I forget. Looking back, last year comes to me in one big blur of long work hours, grieving and maneuvering my way through the minefield that is parenting my six-year-old son (Seriously, it’s supposed to get easier at some point, isn’t it?). I don’t want 2020 to befall the same fate. So, here I am, attempting to redeem myself.  We’re a little over halfway through January. How I feel about that is neither here nor there, I’m just…

Rachel Del 2020 TBR List

My 2020 TBR list

Posted: January 2, 2020

Beyond tracking the release date of a few books I’ve been obsessing over, I’ve never been one to give much forethought to the books I read each year. If an interesting books comes across my radar, I take an interest, but I’ve never really planned what I read. As the end of 2019 quickly approached, I saw more and more “best of” book lists, and after seeing Bud Smith’s, I had the thought that perhaps I should change things up a bit this year, because—hey! A lot happened in 2019 and I’m all about doing things differently in 2020. Making…

It’s not.

Posted: November 26, 2019

I had my father, the new sender of daily selfies, on the phone yesterday. “How’s your writing going?” he asked. He asks often now. It still makes me smile. The answer to his question has the opposite effect. “It’s not.” “You haven’t been able to shake anything loose yet, huh?” I shake my head but he’s on the phone and he can’t see me. The kettle boils, I pour water over the tea bag in my favorite red mug. “Not yet,” I say eventually. Later, I write in my journal about how guilty I feel that I’m not writing. I…

easing in

Posted: October 14, 2019

I am writing these words seated in the corner of a new-to-me coffee shop on a weekday evening. I had this planned, this writing break, this get out of the house break. Whatever the name; I needed it. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends this year (these past few months especially) and needed to set a date and time to get out of the house and be alone. I’d driven past this cafe a few times and always seemed to make the point of telling my husband I’d have to try it out sometime. Much to my disappointment…

the status of things, part two

Posted: October 10, 2019

Last week, my father started reading my blog. A friend of his, after asking after me one day, had looked me up and come across my website. “How long have you had your blog?” my father asked me one night over the phone. It had come out of the blue and caught me off guard. I told him I’ve had a website, in one form or another, since the eighth grade. He didn’t say much else at the time, and I was too nervous to push for more. The next time we spoke on the phone, he told me he’d…

the status of things, part one

Posted: October 5, 2019

This morning I waited until the boys left, until I heard the car start up and pull away, and then I lit my favorite candle and made a second cup of coffee. My laptop sat open and ready on the kitchen table, the first time I’d even looked at it in weeks. The house was blissfully silent. I’d prepared myself for this, written in my journal just yesterday that this morning would afford me the perfect block of free time to finally sit down and work my way through everything the only way I really know how: by writing it…

This I can Control

Posted: October 1, 2019

I have this habit of making things more complicated than they need to be. I could give you countless examples, some much more personal than others, but I will use this one: I make the process of selecting a new journal almost torturous. To begin, I’m picky. The paper can’t be too slippery because then the pen moves too freely and my writing becomes illegible. It can’t be too heavy because I often carry it along with me in my purse. It can’t be too large for the reasoning just stated. It needs to be easy to write in, which…

This Post has no Discernible Theme

Posted: September 15, 2019

I sat staring at the blank screen for more than a few minutes this morning. Clicked over to a couple blogs I enjoy. Took another sip of my near-cold coffee. Stared down at my slightly chipped manicure. Writing—the act of it, the thought of it—feels so different this year. I hadn’t realized until she was gone that so much of what I wrote was done in the hopes of pleasing my mother. I wanted to write something she would be proud of. Now, I write almost nothing at all. What I do is read. Even more than I did before….