3 Things From The Past Week | 23

3 Things From The Past week

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I was invited somewhere recently—a big event on a holiday I’m not so much a fan of. I thought about coming up with an excuse not to go, but then I realized how silly that would be. So I told my friend the truth. I told her it’s not my kind of thing and we’d rather stay close to home and keep things simple.

My friend replied, “I knew you were going to say that.”

At first, I laughed. But then, slowly, it came to me: am I really that predictable?

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3 Things From The Past Week | 22

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I came back from Brian Head feeling like a whole new person. The time away from the city, the fresh air, the feeling that comes along with writing 10,100 words in just over two days—I can’t put a price on it. It was just what I needed.

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3 Things From The Past Week | 21

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Even though I woke up too early—and with a headache from drinking too much wine and not enough water the night before—I can feel it.

The drive. The urge.

I know even before I open my laptop that I’m going to kill my word count today. I feel good (again, despite the headache). I feel more and more like myself as the words flow.

I’m smiling as I write. It feels like so long since I’ve felt this way.  I could do this, I think. Really do this.

Everything feels different when you’re up in the mountains. The air is significantly cooler, more fresh. I can breathe here. It’s quiet. Everything moves more slowly.

Even myself.

As I write this I’m almost halfway into my three day weekend in Brian Head, Utah with two girlfriends. One is working on her third book, the other is starting her first.

It’s impossible to ignore the electricity flowing through the room right now.

I can’t wait to see what we create.

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August Reading List

 

Standard Deviation

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I love September. If I were still living in Canada I’d be pulling out my sweaters and boots and searching around for my first pumpkin spice latte.

But I’m not still in Canada, and here in Vegas, the weather is nowhere near fall. Whomp whomp whomp.

Anyway, onto the books. Ack! August was not a good reading month for me in terms of fiction. But in terms of non-fiction and getting my act together re my novel rewrite, then it was a total success.

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3 Things From The Past Week | 20

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I was dreaming about overnight camp.

There were a few similarities to the camp I spent summers at as a kid. The way—for two weeks—you were the best of friends with nine other girls. You thought you’d never make friends like them again, and it broke your heart to leave them behind at the end. But then by the time school started you’d forgotten all about them. Or the way you learnt just how painful black fly bites are. Or how you had the art of bathing in ice cold lake water every second day…

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T

I think of you sometimes. But not if I can help it.

It only happens when I think of back East (I can’t call it home anymore, you see; Ontario hasn’t been home for years). I think of all the plans we made, the dreams we had. We were so young. So naive.

We thought our love was something special.

Maybe it was.

We’re both married now, with kids of our own. Am I the only one who thinks that’s crazy? It feels like just yesterday we were high school sweethearts.

I think of you sometimes. But not if I can help it.

I know you’re happy—at least the picture you paint online makes it look that way—and I’m so happy you’re living a good life. You always deserved that.

We were good once. Great, even. You were the first boy to teach me the meaning of love. And for that you will always hold a special place in my heart.

I think of you sometimes. And that’s okay.

Our love led us to where we are today.

Happy in our own separate worlds.

3 Things From The Past Week | 18

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Yesterday I started reading a book that, at its core, is about female friendship. I haven’t gotten very far into it because I keep stopping and scribbling down notes in my journal. Friendship in your thirties is so different then when you’re younger. Some day I’ll find the right words to explain what I mean by that.

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I’m well aware of the fact that some days are just going to drain me. Some weeks, even. Like this week. I’m siting here absolutely blown away by the fact that the weekend has…

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3 Things From The Past Week | 17

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I’ve stopped being able to write in coffee shops. They used to be the only place in which I could focus. Home holds too many distractions, I said.

Now home is the only place in which I get anything done.

When you’re a new, aspiring writer you read all those blogs that tell you to designate a writing space that is completely yours. I never believed in that. I always thought a writer should be able to write anywhere.

I grew up in small houses. Cozy, I’d say. I love my house here in Vegas,…

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July Reading List

It’s been hot as heck here in Las Vegas this month. I mean, uncomfortably so. I don’t spend much time outside when the weather is like this, unless I’m in the pool. And if I’m in the pool, I want to be laying in our new margarita pool float with a book in my hand.

Most of what I read this month, though, I read inside where there is air conditioning and iced coffee never too far out of reach. My kid has even taken to picking up a book off my shelf, slid back onto the couch and open it. “I’m mama!” he says excitedly. I so approve.

What I read in July:

  • WE ARE NEVER MEETING IN REAL LIFE by Samantha Irby  – Some good, some bad. I haven’t read Samantha Irby’s writing until now and while this collection of essays started out making me laugh and smile it quickly fell flat. I found myself glossing over paragraphs at a time. It’s too bad, I had high hopes.
  • ALL GROWN UP by Jami AttenbergI’m not one of those people who sit high atop their married with children horses and tell everyone else that their life should look like mine—so with this in mind, I kept giving All Grown Up a chance. I get that Andrea’s life turned out differently than she liked. I get that she’s incredibly unhappy and terribly unfulfilled, but what really got me about this book was that she seemed to do absolutely nothing to change her situation. In fact, it seems that even though she was in therapy, she only really dealt with “life” by doing drugs and sleeping with men she knew for a millisecond. And that I just don’t get. This book was touted as being “wickedly funny”, which is a gross overstatement. I may have chuckled a time or two, but that does not a wickedly funny book make. All Grown Up was just a sad, disjointed sob story that fell flat.
  • CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS by Sally Rooney – I had written a lovely review on this book, and then my website crashed and I lost it. What I do remember is that I loved this book. I loved the interesting, complicated relationship between these two friends. I couldn’t put this one down.
  • GOODBYE, VITAMIN by Rachel Khong – Before reading “Goodbye, Vitamin” I did something I don’t usually do—actually, something I downright refuse to do, which is look at the reviews of a book before I read it. You see, I want to open a book unbiased; I don’t want other people’s thoughts swarming around in my head before I’ve even given the book a chance. I logged on to Goodreads and read four or five reviews. Thankfully, they didn’t stop me from buying the book. Goodbye, Vitamin was written in small vignettes that made my heart beat faster. I was so pleasantly surprised.

In Progress

Here’s what I’m currently reading:


Coming Up

If you want keep up with what I read during the month, follow me on instagram @racheldelxo and @alovelettertobooks.

 

3 Things From The Past Week | 16

 

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I can’t quite remember how it came up, or why, but last night, after I put my son to bed, I said to Dom, “Look at the guys I comment on, they’re always older. Robert Downey Jr, Charles Esten, Kevin Richardson…” I turned to him, “I wonder what that says about me? Is it because I’m a total daddy’s girl?”

He said, unblinking, “I think it’s probably the opposite. It’s probably that you want someone to take care of you. Someone responsible. Someone older.”

I nodded, because that has always been the case.

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