Seven years to the day

Posted: January 28, 2017 by Rachel

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

I woke in my apartment sometime around 2am and turned to look at my Blackberry like I’d done so many nights before. It was flashing red, meaning I had an email. I was half asleep when I read the email from my boss, introducing me to some guy named Dom from Las Vegas. I responded to my boss with a well thought out, “Vegas?!

That was January 28th, 2010.

++

We spoke on the phone for the first time on February 8. For three hours.

Dom flew out, and we met in person for the first time on March 5.

I visited him in Vegas for the first time on May 7.

June 4, he flies out to visit me again. He wanted to be with me on my birthday (the seventh).

Dom tells me he loves me. It is June 19, 2010.

On July 4th we begin to talk about a future together.

I finally get the nerve to tell Dom I love him, too. It is July 21, 2010.

We are engaged in Las Vegas on September 6th, 2010.

On January 22, 2011, I move to Las Vegas.

We are married April 2, 2011.

++

It’s been seven years since I received that very first email and my god am I grateful that I did. Because I cannot—will not—imagine my life without him.

 

All the Dust and Debris

Posted: July 11, 2015 by Rachel

I was 16 when I fell in love for the first time, and like any young girl at that age, I thought he was the be all and end all. I had no idea that there would be others after him.

He was sweet and kind, with big, light brown eyes and a smile that made everything seem instantly better, and I loved him. For over four years, we loved each other.  And when our relationship came to its end, when it became clear that we weren’t meant to be forever, I lost more than the love of a boy. I lost the love of a village; of friends and family who had been so intertwined in my life that I didn’t know where I ended and they began.

Often times I’m grateful that I moved away; that I don’t have to worry about the memories associated with places, things and people. I spent too much of my twenties running away from my mistakes and regrets. Here in Vegas, there is only Dominic; there are only our places, our things, our people. And all the dust and dirt and debris from my past is back there in Canada somewhere, floating around, unnoticed.

And all that’s ahead of me is him, and us, and this family we have built.

dear husband

Posted: May 29, 2014 by Rachel

you work so hard for us. every day you’re pushing yourself harder and harder to support us, your little family. i know that sometimes it can be really tough out there doing it on your own, and i just want to say: thank you. thank you for being you. thank you for being as hard working, intelligent and amazing as you are.

yesterday we did something for you. we got you your dream car. and that smile on your face? the excitement in your voice? worth every penny, my love. i’m happy we could make one of your dreams come true. let’s get working on fulfilling the rest of them.

love you always.

xo,
rdg

i’m not ashamed to admit it

Posted: May 22, 2014 by Rachel

i have this thing for men in their forties.
rob lowe, patrick dempsey, robert downey jr.
i tell dom: “heck, it bodes well for you.”
i’m not sure what it is, though. maybe:
the sexy salt and pepper hair
that they’re experienced
that they have their sh*t together
their confidence
and a few (hundred) other things

dom is thirty-eight and
looking better than he did the day i met him.
(i’ve never told him that, maybe i should)
men are so lucky that way.
they get better with age
so i say to him,
as he complains about the growing number of grey hairs on his head:
“you have nothing to worry about,
you’re as sexy as ever”
and i mean it.
just wait until he’s in his forties.
i won’t be able to keep my hands off of him.
especially!
if he grew some nice scruff (my weakness)
then it would really be on.

(and this obsession with age
as my thirtieth birthday approaches
is getting kind of old,
don’t you think?)

xo,
rdg

 

love and dating

Posted: March 19, 2014 by Rachel

i was terrible at dating. it most likely stemmed from my shyness, and my lack of faith in myself and my looks. sometimes, when sitting in a coffee shop or out at a movie theatre and a good looking guy walked by, making me nudge my girlfriend, while we both looked on in awe, i would stop and wonder if i ever had that effect on a guy. was i the type of woman that men looked at? once, twice?

i’ve always been terribly self-concious about the way i look. i was a late bloomer, teased mercilessly by all the boys at school, except for my high school sweetheart, tim  (thank goodness for him looking beyond my flat chest and short hair). i never though i was anything special. truth is, i still don’t think i am. i may be at a point in my life where i’m finally becoming comfortable with the way i look, but that’s not the point.

the point is, i was terrible at dating. i’ve never been good at small talk, and the first few dates with a new person are just that. i probably asked too many personal questions too early, wanting to get down to the nitty gritty right away so as not to waste my time. i was never a serial dater. i never dated anyone i didn’t see a future with. i never dated just for the sake of dating.

i made sure to walk into first dates with low expectations, so as not to be disappointed, which i almost always was. i met a lot of those good-on-paper men; the ones with good jobs, a place of their own, close to their family, etc, but there was no attraction. no spark.

i always knew what i wanted in a partner. i wanted someone who would challenge me, who would make me laugh and make me feel special. someone who would tell me how much i mean to them, who would appreciate all the little things i did for them. someone who wanted kids and a good head on his shoulders.

i did date, though. before my husband, i had four long-term boyfriends. each of them had their positives and negatives, and each took part in helping me discover myself and become the woman that i am today.

without josh, i wouldn’t have known that it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of the kind of person you should be with. from him, i would learn how to scare the shit out of my mother.

without tim, my high school sweetheart of four years, i wouldn’t know that there are people out there who can look past your outer layer and really know who you are inside.

without nate, i wouldn’t know how easy it is to mistake love for lust. i wouldn’t know that there are certain ways that relationships can begin, and the way ours did was not one of them. no good could have come out of us being together.

without scott, my most serious relationship, i wouldn’t have figured out that there are certain things that i can’t – and shouldn’t have to – live without. from him, i learned not to settle, and so did he.

it’s funny how things work out.

when my husband and i first started the dating dance, i had gotten to a point where i was convinced that i wouldn’t find anyone who equally interested, challenged and loved me. our dance was different. first, it was long distance, with him in las vegas and myself in ontario, canada. and second, because of the distance, we built a foundation based on mutual interests and respect, long before the physical side entered the equation. so, we danced, and danced, and here we are today, coming up on our third wedding anniversary, an almost one year old boy at home.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that life has a way of working out. love has a way of working out. you just have to let it.

xo,
rdg

Dear Husband

Posted: March 22, 2012 by Rachel


Some days, when I’m having a particularly rough time I close my eyes and sit perfectly still, and if I’m lucky the hustle and bustle of the office disappears leaving only me with my thoughts. It is in these moments that I do my dreaming.

I plot out a life full of creating, capturing and loving. Of homemade dinners and family get togethers. Of herb gardens and weathered hardcover books. It is a life in which I find peace, comfort and limitless love; and I know – without a shadow of doubt – that you will always be right there beside me as we chase down our dreams… together.

xo,
rdg