I’ll tell you what I want you to know

Posted: February 6, 2018 by Rachel

Over coffee with a girlfriend recently, I admitted that I’m a terribly private person. I didn’t give her the chance to say what most people say—“you sure share an awful lot online for someone who claims to be private”—before I set down my too-strong coffee and leaned closer, saying, “I share what I’m okay with other people knowing.”

That is to say: I’ll tell you what I want you to know. And the rest I want to keep to myself.

I share a lot more with some people than with others, as I think most people do. And there are a select few who get very little of me, mostly because I’ve learned from my mistakes. I consider myself a forgiving person. I’ll forgive you, but I’m also not going to give as much of myself to you in the future should you hurt me.

Lately I find I’m struggling with what to say and what not to say. I used to talk a lot more openly about my life, which is funny if you think about it, because my life has changed so much in the past seven years. Right now, I can think of three things I’d love to write about, but it would mean opening myself up to people I’d rather keep at bay.

So, like I have for too many years now, I stay quiet.

But I find I’m missing it; writing about my life. And I’m determined to find some kind of middle ground, some areas of my life that I’m comfortable sharing. Because as simple and slow as my life is, there is so much good in it that is worth being celebrated.

What I Read: December 2017

Posted: January 2, 2018 by Rachel

December Reading List

 

Despite the craziness of the last month of the year, I was able to read four novels in December, bringing my tally for 2017 up to a cool 50 books read.

I should call December (and the end of November) the month of Christina Lauren, because I read four of their books in succession–Autoboyography being my first and favorite. That book deserves it’s only special review, that’s how much I loved it.

But, I digress.

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3 Things From The Past Week | 30

Posted: December 17, 2017 by Rachel

3 Things From The Past Week

 

1
I work from home and sometimes things can be a little too quiet. I used to listen to music, but have, over the past few months, started leaving the television on. Usually, I just let a show like Friends or Felicity run in the background, but around the time that the calendar changed over to December I started playing Christmas movies. I love Christmas movies, the cheesier the better. Except for Love, Actually. I don’t know what it is about that one, but I just don’t like it. But turn on The Holiday and I’ll watch it over and over.

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3 Things From The Past Week | 29

Posted: November 12, 2017 by Rachel

3 Things from the past week

 

1
I disappointed my boss on Tuesday. It’s a new feeling, and not one I like. I knew I disappointed him because I could feel him watching me, wanting me to do something, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.

We were at PubCon, sitting at a table in the exhibit hall when a woman came up to us and asked us if any of us would like to be interviewed on camera talking about digital marketing. Right away, my boss volunteered me, but I shook my head.

I was angry. He knows I’m terrified of speaking in front of people. Being filmed is even worse. And yet he volunteered me. On the spot, just like that. No preparation.

The woman looked excited, told me they couldn’t get any women to participate. I didn’t look at my boss as I shook my head and declined her offer. I could feel him watching me, disappointed.

It kind of feels like I’ve been letting down a lot of people lately, myself included.

2
This was the toughest week in every way possible. I know you’re not supposed to wish time away, but I’m glad this week is coming to an end. I just want to put it behind me.

3
Four weeks until Maui. I can’t put into words how much I need this mini-vacation.

3 Things From The Past Week | 28

Posted: November 5, 2017 by Rachel

3 Things From The Past Week | 28

 

1
Two things that I really wanted to happen this week didn’t happen. 1–I didn’t sit down and outline my next novel and 2–I didn’t take part in day in the life. The fact that both these things didn’t happen won’t kill me but it does disappoint me. A girlfriend recently told me that I’m “military-like” — meaning, I set a deadline, a goal, etc, and I complete it. I laughed when she said that because, honestly, I’m the queen of setting deadlines and sitting back as they whoosh on by. But I know what she was referring to (me finishing my novel before my October 15th deadline).  So, in this case, yeah, I guess she’s right.

This coming week I’m going to schedule time to outline. And I’m going to get it done. And I’ll do a day in the life, too.

2
I wish I didn’t have such a bad memory, because sometimes my kid says the funniest things and I can’t write them down (like when I’m driving). On Friday he told me, “sometimes grandpa kisses me and these sharp things prick me, like his moo-stash” and then he scrunched up his face and wiggled his fingers over top of his lips. Kids really do say the craziest things.

3
I’ve never been great when it comes to makeup. I’ve stuck with the basics for a long time–under eye concealer, mascara, bronzer and a little eyebrow filler if the mood strikes me. I’ve been trying to step outside of my comfort zone and try some new things. I bought this yesterday, which I’m excited to try out.

3 Things From The Past Week | 27

Posted: October 22, 2017 by Rachel

3 Things From The Past Week | 27

 

1
Whole30 really isn’t all that difficult as long as you plan ahead. For example, I pretty much always have plenty of these on hand for emergency snacks (only the compliant ones, of course) and stock the fridge with these and these for lunches. I made this for dinner on Wednesday night and it was delicious.

2
I don’t know how it all happened this way but my goodness I’ve been reading some incredible books over the past couple weeks, with more coming up. Let’s review. First, I got an ARC of A Little Too Late—devoured. Then, I finished reading The Ghostwriter—one of the best books I’ve read this year. After finishing The Ghostwriter on Friday night, I opened my iPad to see I’d gotten an ARC of The Fortunate Ones, which I’m over halfway through reading already. Tomorrow, Move The Stars releases—be still my reading heart. And then, Kandi Steiner’s new novel, On The Way To You releases November 16th. Heaven, people. Reading heaven.

3
I’m nearly done editing my second draft of Someone In The Way, and then it’s off to my editor for the final pass. Then, I’m going to get formatting it and start distributing some early ARCs. This is the fun part, friends.

5 Photos that make me wish I’d gone to The Big Apple Author Event

Posted: October 16, 2017 by Rachel

I can tell you with absolute certainty that if New York were closer, I’d have gotten my butt down to The Big Apple Author Event in NYC this past weekend. Because, I mean, look at how much fun it looked to be! Some of my favorite authors all in one place–some of whom I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting.

These 5 photos made me wish I’d gone to the event, distance and cost be darned.

1. R.S. Grey and Renee Carlino

R.S. Grey and Renee Carlino

I had the pleasure of meeting Renee last October in Phoenix, but I would have loved to have met Rachel.

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3 Things From The Past Week | 26

Posted: October 15, 2017 by Rachel

3 Things From The Past Week | 26

 

1

As I sit down to write this week, I can’t help but notice how completely different things feel. It could have something to do with the fact that, one week into my Whole30, I’ve got more energy during the day than ever. But I’m guessing that it has more to do with the fact that on Wednesday night, four days before my deadline, I finished my Someone In The Way draft.

If you don’t know, I first had the idea to re-write Finding Lily back in March. Towards the end of April, I sat down and got to work. I struggled and struggled with re-writing that book (it was only a novella of 30k) for months and months. I even gave up at one point and started working on a new project.

But then… then I discovered this book, and I sat down and outlined that novel scene by scene. Then I got to work. A month and a half later, I have a completely new draft that is in great shape.

Finishing something that I started in April has had an incredible effect on me. I haven’t stopped smiling for days. I’m sleeping better. I don’t feel guilty every time I open up a book to read. I feel… accomplished.

And I absolutely cannot wait to share this book with the world.

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3 Things From The Past Week | 25

Posted: October 8, 2017 by Rachel

Image via Chicago Sun Times

1

How do I say anything, really, when a terrifying thing happened in town this week. You all know the story by now: a 64-year-old man hammered out two windows on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay and opened fire into a concert crowd below. He killed almost 60 people and injured well over 500. I am so fortunate to not know anyone who was hurt, and my heart goes out to all those who have. I can’t imagine the pain they must be experiencing.

How do I say anything, really, about how much writing I got done this week, or about sneaking in a sushi dinner date with my husband, or talk about all the adorable stories my son has been telling us this week.

How do I say anything, really, about the fact that we have a president who will do nothing about the gun laws in this Country?

How do I say anything, really, when, thanks to one man, there are 58 people who are forever silenced?

How do I say anything more?

What I Read: September 2017

Posted: October 2, 2017 by Rachel

Lies She Told

 

 

Fall is finally, mercifully, wiggling its way in here in Vegas. We had some beautiful days in the 70’s before the weather snuck back up a little for the past few days, but I think we’re in the clear now. I’ve had my first pumpkin spice latte of the season and I’ve even pulled out my fall candles to situate around the house. I’m ready, fall.

I’m kind of in awe that I read as much as I did in September, considering all that I had going on. I do know that there were no long periods of reading. Instead, there were stolen moments here and there.

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