Ten Years of Knowing You

Posted: January 28, 2020 by Rachel

On the first day of 2010 I wrote the following in my diary: It’s a safe bet to say that the large majority of 2009 was spent in misery, and I just can’t do that to myself again. I refuse to waste another year being unhappy. I want to explore more. Be more. But most of all, I want a partner in crime. Someone who will go along on the ride with me.

I had seen two of my closest friends marry in the last two years as I stumbled dazed and confused through some semblance of a dating life. I met some really great guys, went on some lovely dates, but I had yet to meet someone I could truly see myself with. I hadn’t met my person.

In late January of the same year I found myself at an awful ‘party’ just outside my hometown in Ontario, Canada that involved smelly, dirty boys and video games in a dank basement apartment. I kept sneaking off to the restroom, fighting off tears, wondering if this could possibly be the pool from which I had to find a husband. If this were the case, I’d surely be single forever.

Yet just four days later, on January 28th, 2010, an email came through on my Blackberry at 3am. To this day I can still quote it verbatim, but to keep a long story short, the email (from my boss at the time) was an introduction to someone named Dominic living in Las Vegas.

I was hesitant at first, as one might have expected me to be. I had a vastly incomplete image of Las Vegas in my mind, pieced together from what I’d seen and heard in movies. Still, I’d come to know and trust my boss over the three years we’d been working together and felt there had to have been a good reason for him to send that email.

Not wanting to be the first to respond to the introduction, I sat back and waited, went about with my day. 

Dominic wrote me that same morning.

***

It’s been said that one of the foundations of marriage is good communication. There is no doubt in my mind that Dom and I’s early emails and phone calls and cross-country visits are what set us on a strong path right from the beginning. When we married, two months after my move to Las Vegas and only fourteen months after having been introduced, I was fairly confident that I’d found my person. But now, as we celebrate ten years since our introduction and approach our ninth wedding anniversary, I know—whole heartedly—that he is my someone. He is my person. He and the son we share, are everything. I have everything I have ever wanted. 

I am the living proof that life can change in the blink of an eye.

a (short) conversation about marriage

Posted: January 24, 2020

When she asked if I wanted to talk I’m not sure she expected a conversation about marriage. We’d been grappling with some complex feelings brought on by the confession of a mutual acquaintance and I sensed her real reason for reaching out might be that she herself wanted to talk. I wasn’t ready to talk about the confession, so I talked about marriage. “It’s kind of sad,” I said,  “but I’ve been thinking a lot about how, among all the other things my mom is going to miss, she won’t see how happy I am with Dom. How well I…

January 17

Posted: January 17, 2020

Life seems to moving at lightning speed these days. I keep telling myself to be better at writing it all down before I forget. Looking back, last year comes to me in one big blur of long work hours, grieving and maneuvering my way through the minefield that is parenting my six-year-old son (Seriously, it’s supposed to get easier at some point, isn’t it?). I don’t want 2020 to befall the same fate. So, here I am, attempting to redeem myself.  We’re a little over halfway through January. How I feel about that is neither here nor there, I’m just…